Two of several functions of a language are as a means of communication and as social relationship. As a means of communication, the language users should always obey to the cooperative principles so as to avoid misunderstanding or communication breakdown, and as social relationship they should consider to the politeness strategy. However, due to these two distinct goals of communication sometimes the language users are in a difficult position whether to obey the cooperative strategy or to flout this strategy.
In line with the statement above, in daily conversation, there are many ways to go about getting things we want. Let’s see an example from Javanese tribe, a girl let her father have lunch by saying, “Monggo, pak, jennengen dahar rumiyen”. In contrast, If a girl let her friends have lunch, she will say, “Mangano disek kono, segone ning meja.”(common use) Those are some examples that people usually do during the interaction in social life. The politeness strategy the used illustrated that people are absolutely depend on what they talk.
Further, the purpose of communication is to deliver a message and create a very mentally comfortable social relationship. In passing over the message, people typically used the target language both verbal and written, also non- verbal (sign language) that is easily understood by both speaker and opponent talk. Another purpose of communication is to establish social relations by using various strategies. For instance, using expressions of politeness, the implicit expression (indirectness), lips service and the smoothing term (euphemism).
Those strategies above carried out by the speaker and listener in order to make
communication work well in the sense of the message conveyed smoothly, without damaging the social relations between them. Thus, after completing the communication between them, it will emerge in depth impression, such as sympathetic, polite, friendly, and courteous.
Nevertheless, to achieve two goals of communication are not easy. Sometimes, we have different perceptions toward one another. Since there is different principles among people, It often emerges a conflict and collide between people in their social life. In one side, they are required to adhere the principle of communication to avoid misunderstandings, but on the other hand they must violate these principles, with pleasantries, in order to maintain the social relationship. The following explanation will discuss some possible communication strategies developed by the speaker and the opponent talk to achieve the goals above.
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A. The Theory between Grice and Hudson
In the process of communication, there are some principles that should be understood toward speakers and opponent talk, so that the message will be delivered smoothly. By conducting those principles, there will not emerge misunderstanding between them. Grice (1975) stated that there are four maxims in communication which are usually called as co-operative principle that should be understood by both speakers and the opponent talk. It is called as the general agreement that are supposed to be obeyed by the speakers and receivers (opponent talk). The principles are as follows.
- Quantity
a. Make your contribution as informative as is required (for the current
purposes of the exchange).
b. Do not make your contribution more informative than is required
- Quality
a. Do not say what you believe to be false.
b. Do not say for which you lack adequate evidence.
- Relation means be relevant.
- Manner
a. Be perspicuous. Grice divided this maxim into four aspects; (1) Avoid obscurity,(2) Avoid ambiguity, (3) Be brief and (4) Be orderly
Another purpose of communication is to create a social relationship between speakers and the opponent talk. In doing so, the purpose could be more complex. This complexity caused by linguistic factors that should be considered by them even though other non linguistic factors also play a prominent role. A speaker does not only select a correct grammatical structure and choice of word to communicate to others. Another aspects which is also need to be considered is social cultural aspect.
Hudson (1980) pointed out that role and relationship factors, age, and social stratification also play a prominent role to achieve the purpose of communication. It can be seen from many living areas, such as the communication between employee and manager, a child to his parents, and between friends as well. For these reasons, it needs a different communication strategy. An employee, for instance, will choose a special expression to talk to his manager based on his role in that company. However, a choice of word should be combined with body language which represents his or her appreciation to a manager, such as ‘bow’ which is closely related to Javanese culture. (De Jong:1984). They did ‘bow’ specially to respect those who have more in money matters, life stratification or a leader.
I. Politeness Strategies between Men and Women
In having a conversation, people are advisable to be careful in using strategy in order to maintain the communication. They also must be aware of the politeness strategy to make their communication more acceptable by the others. The theory of politeness strategy is one of the topics discussed in pragmatics. According to Brown and Levinson, politeness strategies are developed in order to save the hearers' "face." Face refers to the respect that an individual has for him or herself, and maintaining that "self-esteem" in public or in private situations. Usually people try to avoid embarrassing the other person, or making them feel uncomfortable.
Some studies (Lakoff, 1976; Beeching, 2002) have shown that women are more likely to use politeness formulas than men, though the exact differences are not clear. Politeness is the expression of the speakers’ intention to mitigate face threats carried by certain face threatening acts toward another (Mills, 2003:6). The goal of politeness is to make all of the parties relaxed and comfortable with one another. Being polite therefore consists of attempting to save face for another.
Further, Leech pointed out that politeness has a very important rule in a society, and it is needed to elaborate cooperative principle and also a completion of cooperative principle. To show the relation of politeness principle and the cooperative principle, Leech illustrated as follow (1993:121-122): (2) A: “We’ll all miss Bill and Agatha, won’t we?”
B: “Well, we’ll all miss Bill.” In this dialogue, B has broken the rule of Grice’s cooperative principle especially maxim of quantity as B does not mention Agatha in his talk. From this talk, there is an implication that not all people will miss Agatha. Why B does not add “but we will not miss Agatha” in his talk is just for politeness reason, i.e. B wants to avoid impolite act toward third part (Agatha). So, it can be concluded that B hold some information for B merely obeys politeness principle.
In general, one can single out the following characteristics. Males tend to speak straight ahead, to refer to events in a verb-phrase, to be time-oriented, to involve themselves more in their references to events, to locate events in their personal sphere of activity, and to refer less to others. Male is shown to be more active, more ego-involved in what he does, and less concerned about others. Women, in contrast, were more fluent, referred to events in a noun-phrase, were less time-oriented, tended to be less involved in their event-references, locate events within their interactive community and refer more to others. They spent much more time discussing personal and domestic subjects, relationship problems, family, health and reproductive matters, weight, food and clothing, men, and other women. Men more often begin a conversation, they make more utterances, these utterances are longer, they make more assertions, speak less carefully, generally determine the topic of conversation, speak more impersonally, use more vulgar expressions, and use fewer diminutives and more imperatives.
In contrast, Women's speech strategies, apart from being the opposite of those enumerated above, also contain more euphemisms, polite forms, apologies, laughter and crying. All of the above conclude that the differences between male and female speech forms are more striking than the similarities.
According to research on male and female conversation styles; women focus on rapport and affective, supportive function of conversation, broad list speaking to be oriented towards to the interpersonal, men focus on rapport and informational function of conversation. Women start using the kinds of linguistic strategy associated with men, men usually talk straight and simple. For instance, conversation between husband and wife.
W : That meeting I had to go today was just awful.
H : Where was it?
W : In Banua Patra building, people were just to aggressive.
H : Mm. who was there?
II. The Effects of Politeness in Conversation
According to Brown and Levinson, positive and negative effects exist universally in human culture. Most of the effects are in verbal, but they also can be conveyed in the characteristics of speech or in non verbal forms of communication.
There are two effects of politeness in conversation, such as :
1. Positive Effects
The positive means desire to be liked, admired, ratified and related to positively, noting that one would threaten positive by ignoring someone. The positive also refers to one’s self-esteem. It seek to minimize the threat to the hearer.
The effects are :
a. Threatened when the speaker or hearer doesn’t care about their interactor’s feelings, wants or doesn’t want what the other wants.
b. Used to make the hearer feel good about himself, his interest or possessions.
c. Used to avoid conflict
d. Also can be strategy to strengthen friendship, solidarity, and compliments.
e. Helps avoid future debt by keeping social distance and not getting too familiar with the addressee.
2. Negative Effects
The negative means desire to remain autonomous so the speaker is more apt to include an out for the listener, through distancing styles like apologies. The negative also refers to one’s freedom to act.
The effects are :
a. Threatened when the individual does not avoid or intend to avoid the obstruction of their interlocutor’s freedom of action. It is impeded the freedom of choice and action.
b. The speaker will be imposing on the listener.
The two effects mentioned above are the basic wants in any social interaction, and so during any social interactions, cooperation is needed amongst the participants to maintain each others’ face.
To have a clear idea, let’s see an example. When we are in a group of friends, we can say to them, “Go get me that plate!”, or “shut-up!” However, when we are surrounded by a group of adults at a formal function, in which our parents are attending, we must say, “Could you please pass me that plate, if you don’t mind? And “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I am not able to hear the speaker in front of the room.” In different social situations, we are obligated to adjust our use of words to fit the occasion. It would seem socially unacceptable if the phrases above were reversed.
Besides, politeness strategies are developed in order to save the hearers’ “face”. Face refers to respect that an individual has for him or herself, and maintaining that “self esteem”, in public and private situation. Usually you try to avoid embarrassing the other person, or making them feel uncomfortable. Face Threatening Acts (FTA’s) are acts that infringe on the hearers’ need to maintain his/ her self-esteem, and be respected.
Further, there are four types of politeness strategies, described by Brown and Levinson, that sum up human “politeness” behavior:
A. Bold on-Record
Ex: “Ooh, I want to use one of those!”
Bold on-record strategies usually do not attempt to minimize the threat to the addressee’s face. Doing an act baldly without, without redress, involving doing it in the most direct, clear, unambiguous and concise way possible.
Lavinson outlines various cases, in which one might use the bald on-record strategy, including:
1. Instances in which threat minimizing does not occur
· Great urgency or desperation
· Speaking as if great efficiency is necessary
· Task-oriented
· Little or no desire to maintain someone’s face
· Doing the FTA is in the interest of the addressee
2. Instances in which the threat is minimized implicitly
· Welcomes
· Offers
B. Positive politeness strategy seek to minimize the threat to the addressee’s positive face. They are used to make the addressee feel good about himself, his interest or possessions, and are most usually used in situation where the audience know each other fairly well. In addition to hedging and attempts to avoid conflict, some strategies of positive politeness include statements of friendship, solidarity, compliments, and the following examples from Brown and Levinson:
· Strategy 1: Notice, attend to H (his interests, wants, needs, goods)
· Strategy 2: Exaggerate (interest, approval, sympathy with H)
· Strategy 3: intensify interest to H
· Strategy 4: Use in-group identity markers
· Strategy 5: Seek agreement
· Strategy 6: Avoid disagreement
· Strategy 7: Presuppose/ raise/ assert common ground
· Strategy 8: Joke
(in this situation you recognize that your teacher has a desire to be respected. It also confirms that the relationship is friendly and expresses group reciprocity.
Ex: “So is it O.K. if I use one of those pens?”
C. Negative Politeness Strategy
Negative politeness strategies are oriented towards the hearer’s negative face and emphasize avoidance of imposition of the hearer. These strategies presume that the speaker will be imposing on the listener and there is a higher potential for awkwardness or embarrassment than in bald on-record strategies and positive politeness strategies.
Strategies and examples from Brown and Levison include:
· Strategy 1 : Be conveniently indirect
· Strategy 2: Question, hedge
· Strategy 3: Be pessimistic
· Strategy 4: Minimize the imposition
· Strategy 5: Give deference
· Strategy 6: Apologize
D. Off-Record-indirect strategy (The main purpose is to take some of the pressure off of you. You are trying not to directly impose by asking for a pen. Instead you would rather it be offered to you once the teacher realizes you need one, and you are looking to find one. A great example of this strategy is something that almost everyone has done or will do when you have, on purpose, decided not to return someone’s phone call, therefore you say, “I tried to call a hundred times, but there was never any answer.”
Ex: “Hmm, I sure could use a blue pen right now.”
IV. The Contribution of Politeness Strategies in Conversation to Language Teaching.
The biggest percentage of people who learn English is to develop their ability in speaking. In developing the ability of speaking as well as conversation is not as easy as many people think. It involves some different skills which enable someone to make social contact with people who have different background of culture. When he/she involves in conversation or a discussion with others, some skills are needed in order to express his/her opinions, to persuade or to clarify an information, to give an instruction or to make polite requests.(Kang Shumin: 2002). Politeness in conversation is needed in order to convey the ideas expressed without offending anyone who involves in the conversation. It is one of important factors in the success of communication among the users of English and consequently, it should be a part of language teaching.
There are some contributions of politeness strategy in conversation to language teaching, among others are :
1. The importance of politeness has made many creative teachers of EFL to find out the equivalent of polite expressions in L2 with those in L1 in order to lead his/her students to be familiar with what expressions, how and when is the right time and occasions to use the polite ones. The way to express polite expressions included polite requests and idioms in L2 is sometimes quite different with that in L1 even though they are actually equivalent in meanings. The expressions such as “Why don’t we go out and have lunch?” and “Why didn’t you show up yesterday?” have different functions. The former one is a polite request which means “Is it okay if we go out and have lunch?”or sometimes is expressed with “What if”( what if we go out and have lunch?) , while the latter is a real question to know the reason why “you” did not show up yesterday.
2. Politeness taught in a language teaching makes the learners aware the importance of polite expressions to lead them to be polite persons who always save the hearers “face” particularly in using the target language. They know how and when to use polite expressions in order to maintain “self – esteem” either in public or private situations. The more they master the politeness expressions, the more they can avoid embarrassing other people or making them feel uncomfortable. For example, it is not polite to say “Show me your Identity Card” or “ I want to know your address” to someone older( superior ) or to a foreigner we have never met before. Instead, we should say “ Would you show me your identity Card, please?” and “I would like (I’d like) to know your address, please”.
3. Politeness in conversation is not only “please” or “thank you”, but it involves much more than such superficial politeness. Research findings done by some linguists and the development of the politeness itself have contributed a lot of things to language teaching such as etiquette in attending a meeting (English for meeting), etiquette in address term ( subordinate to superior), and etiquette while at the dinner table. What to say in the opening and closing of a speech, how to start a conversation when a man meets another man or a woman he has never met before, etc. All those things have their own place in the teaching of English. Like other parts of English teaching such as grammar, reading, etc. , they need treating in such a way that facilitate the learners to master them all, and hopefully they can use them to adapt themselves in international communications.
V. Conclusion.
Politeness in conversation is a way to adapt our talks to suit our audience and talk differently to children, customers, adults, superior, colleagues, or even between a man and a woman. We are supposed to use language differently in formal or casual context. There are some politeness strategies choices to apply whether they in the face to face conversation or in engaging in multiple conversations which impact to the face threat to people involving in them.
Brown and Lavinson proposed the four strategies concerning with politeness. Bald on-record strategy which provides no effort to minimize threat to someone “face”, positive politeness strategy in which the relationship between the speaker and his/her interlocutor is friendly and expresses reciprocity. negative politeness strategy which is similar to positive politeness strategy in which both speakers want to be respected, however, one of the speaker in some way imposing on him/her. And the last one is called Off-record indirect strategies in which the main purpose is to take some of the pressure off of the hearer. The speaker is trying not to directly impose the hearer.
